Salt of the Earth

What would I do if I feared nothing? What would I change? Would I fulfill my dreams? Do I even know what my dreams are anymore? How would life be different if I risked everything I have to do One Thing I'm not even sure I want to do...? ...what if I find that that One Thing was not what I expected it to be? ...that it will not satisfy or fulfill my dreams? I guess then at least I will know. Will I have lost anything? Or will I have gained an experience? I can only learn and grow. Simpsons quote: Bart: You make me sick, Homer. You're the one who told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it! Homer: Well, now that you're a little bit older, I can tell you that's a crock! No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you. Bart: Gotcha. Can't win, don't try.

Current Music: Seether Life is short. Live it to the fullest. I may not really live my life to the fullest and theres plenty of things I will be happy not to try, but I sure do want to do more in my life than just work. I want to travel - everywhere. I want to try new things. I'm not a sporty person, so some of these things are a challenge for me. List of interesting things I've done: Snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef Horse trekking in Wairarapa Jet boating in Queenstown Luge in Queenstown and Rotorua Kayaking in Bay of Islands Skiing in Queenstown - Coronet Peak & The Remarkables Things I want to do: Paragliding Sky diving ...I'm sure theres more, I just can't think of what they are right now.

Current Music: Massive Attack Everyone is having babies at the moment... ok, well not everyone, but certainly a good number of my friends. Assumption would say its just my age. The average age for first time mothers has raised from 23.9 in 1962 to 30.7 in 2005 (in New Zealand). I'm currently 27 and don't really have any desire to start a family and, as much as everyone is telling me 'its only a matter of time', I just don't see it. My friend Sara had her beautiful baby, Olivia Caitlin, on 12 May. Isn't she gorgeous. I'm so very happy for her, I know this is something she has been wanting for so long and she totally suits being a mother. As for me, I keep saying "I'll wait 5 years and see how I go..." but I've already been saying that for the past 2 years. I wonder when/if things will change and what the process is that takes place to make me feel different.

"Your name of Melanie creates an intense desire for association with people and new experiences, many of which have been rather bitter. This name has given you a gregarious personality and a quick-thinking, creative, and versatile nature, but one that is unstable emotionally. You desire change and travel and would enjoy opportunities that allowed you to be creative and to act independently, rather than to conform to system and routine. However, this name does not allow you to complete your undertakings, as farther fields always look greener. Although you may appear confident and positive, you actually lack confidence and feel self-conscious at times. This name spoils patience and depth of thought, and weakens your stand in matters of principle. You are too open to suggestion, and thus you could become involved in detrimental associations which could lead you into by-paths of thrill-seeking or emotional indulgence. " "Your first name of Mel has given you a quic

Sincere flattery will get you everywhere.

Current Music: Nine Inch Nails Occasionally we all do some mad things that no one can quite explain. Occasionally we all dream so hard that we start living out our dreams. Occasionally we all laugh so much that we start to cry. Occasionally we fall over. Occasionally we do something wrong. Occasionally we find someone who looks up to us. Occasionally we look down at others. Occasionally we do something right. Occasionally dealing with the consequences of our actions takes more courage and strength than we think we have. The occasional happenings of life lead us to think differently, change our outlook and hopefully teach us something. You can’t always be on top. You can’t always know the consequences. We only hope we still have good friends and good fortune. Rest assured you have good friends.

I'm feeling extremely tired. I don't want to be at work - but I am. ...I wish I could go back to bed. I'm feeling very unmotivated. I don't want to do any work - but I will. ...I wish I could go back to bed. I'm not really concentrating on anything. But there's a lot of thoughts going round in my head. Life is far too distracting, to focus on such petties as work. I really can't concentrate on anything. Oh please let me go back to bed.

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be a companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the s

So yesterday we had a pizza party for Mike's 25th birthday. It basically involved buying heaps of different toppings and some pizza bases. We had it at lunch time and about 9 friends filled our little house. Then you get everyone to make their own pizza. It's interactive and interesting to see what people put on their pizza. I also got Mike a cake... A local band, Fat Freddy's Drop, were playing for free at the Petone street festival so that evening we went and checked it out. There were heaps of people and we lost track of where some of our friends went. Afterwards we went to the beach and watched the stars while waiting for the traffic to clear. Then we headed back to our place with a couple of friends and had another pizza. It was a great day.

Current Music: The Killers Went to the X*air Games today at the Wellington waterfront. It was pretty impressive to see the skateboarders, inline skaters and BMXers on the 1/2 pipe. The flips, the height, the falling of bodies out of the air. It was cool. Thank the gods for long weekends.

Where would we be without salt? "Edible salt is a mineral, one of the few rocks humans eat. Salt is necessary for the survival of all living creatures, including humans. Salt is involved in regulating the water content (fluid balance) of the body. Salt is required for life.." A simple rock - it just happens to be a tasty rock. "..but if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot". But what of us? What if we loose our flavour? Do we get 'thrown out and trampled underfoot'? How do you keep from loosing your flavour? Keeping flavour alive Keeping faith alive Keeping love alive Keeping friendships alive Keeping hope alive Keeping motivation alive Keeping yourself alive.. living, growing, changing... Keeping moving forward in time. January is so often for me a time to contemplate the future of all things. (Quotes from wikipedia.com)

"..everybody gets a second chance.." I've had an interesting but tiring start to 2006. I'm in an in between space. My thoughts are in disarray. I need to bring some order to this confusion. "You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot."